B Positive

Sunday, June 21, 2026

50 YEARS!

It's been over a year since I last posted, seems like major events draw me back to Melissa's blog.

Hip replacement was major, and hard to believe, but it's been awhile since we've had another "major" event.

This past couple weeks have been crazy busy. Took Max to 4 football camps. Ohio University, Indiana (he was invited to Indiana!), Notre Dame and Ohio State. Lots of driving in a short time, but we love it!

Then Andrew's graduation. It was just yesterday that he was sitting on my lap and I was reading to him...wasn't it?

Graduation was a month ago, and his graduation party was this past Friday night. Mere asked if we'd stop over to help take some stuff to the venue for the party. OF COURSE! We were ALL excited, (mom and dad a little stressed), and I made things ever MORE stressful. Picked up the bowl (plastic, thank goodness) of potato salad to take to the car. Knute, their blind/deaf dog, didn't see me or hear me. And I didn't see HIM. Somehow, he got tangled in my feet, and I went flying. LITERALLY. Couldn't tell if I fell flat or as Mere said "you went sliding!" In any event, I ended up face first on the hardwood floor, potato salad EVERYWHERE. Picture this, the crime scene where they outline the body on the floor, only MY outline was POTATO SALAD!

I told Andrew he should have taken a picture (I want to capture EVERYTHING)...he said "Pamma! I thought you were dead!" Because I laid there for about 10 seconds wondering what the hell just happened, and wondering if I hurt anything. Oh, and I didn't say I was dressed for the party. In a dress and a jacket -the only potato salad on my was on my right sleeve.

No injuries. Just 10 pounds of potato salad gone. UGH. Fortunately, Belmont Catering was still open at 3:30 on Friday, and they sold us what we needed.

Party went off without any more hitches. And I wasn't allowed to carry ANYTHING in. Maybe that was my plan all along. HAHA.

The next morning we got up to go to Casstown, Oh (between Troy and Tipp City) as guests at a book signing. Author (Tonya Carrie) wrote a book about surviving the death of her son. She really wanted a man's perspective on grieving, but included me. We love sharing Melissa's story.

Then on to Ella's graduation party. (Andrew's girlfriend),

Now we are preparing for the NEXT party.

Our 50th anniversary.

Not many people have big 50th anniversary parties like they used to. My mom and dad, Donny's mom and dad and both of our grandparents had 50th anniversary parties. I think now if people make it to their 50th, they travel.

We decided to celebrate with our friends and family. At the VFW, where we had my mom and dad's anniversary party. We know several people who were close to making their 50th anniversary and lost their spouse. So we aren't going to pass up the opportunity to share the joy with all the people that helped us get here!

After losing JP, then Melissa and John, I felt like our family kept getting smaller instead of bigger.

But I started thinking about all the "families" we are a part of. Not just our blood families, but friends we consider family. Moraine Meadows, St. Helen's, Wilbur Wright, Carroll, Fairmont friends, Basketball, Softball and of course the Franz family! Our families have grown over the years and we want to celebrate with them.

Melissa would have been a big part of this. Nick knows it. He's not a planner like she was. But he'll be there to do whatever we need. Mere and the boys too.

It's kind of a Celebration of Life - only with both of us there. Shouldn't we celebrate more often, instead of waiting until your loved ones are gone?

So next week, I'll update WITH pictures.

For now - photo dump from the last two weeks...we were busier than I thought!

Andrew's game at Milford - playoffs.

Melissa's rugby friends, Kat and Chris's kids go there!

Family photo after game.

Max and me @ Ohio University

Notre Dame Football Camp

My two best friends from High School. Jim & John.

Jim's 70th birthday party.

Max at Indiana University Football Camp

Notre Dame football stadium.

Bev. The last of the Mohicans. The last of my mom and dad's friends.

Johnny Mac's mom and dad - John & Diana

Nick & Max ~ Notre Dame

2026 Kelts Rugby Fort Award recipient ~ Erin Keating

Andrew & Braylon's Graduation Party

Max ~ Notre Dame

Andrew

Family

Andrew & Braylon

Perfect ending for this post. Melissa frequently ended her posts with something about her favorite (and only at the time) nephew. She would have felt the same about Max, I know.

Miss you Fort.

Every. Day.

Thursday, May 8, 2025

Another Spring Without Her

I haven't posted in awhile, and when I do, I don't share on social media like I used to.

Yesterday, I talked to a Fairmont teacher and somehow the conversation turned to AI. I told him Nick was using Chat GPT to write the intro for the Scholarship Awards next week.

This morning, when I was scrolling through social media, I came across a post from a teacher who said "Unfortunately, I think I may have to move to having my students do everything on paper."

Lots of interesting comments, so I sent it to my friend. He said "I could make an essay for you in 3 minutes. Hold up, let me show you how easy it is. Give me a tough topic to write about and I'll send you a 500 word essay in 30 seconds."

I replied - "I wonder if we put some of Melissa's info from the blog in, how different if would sound? I can literally hear her voice in her writing."

"Just had it analyze the website and make a new 500 word blog post. I gave it instructions to use the blog writing style and create a new post as if it were you."

*Just a note before I share what Chat GPT wrote. He chose the last blog www.fortscancersux.blogspot.com - which had a lot of my writing. This was obviously based on MY writing, not hers. But WOW. It could have been me.... (it even wrote the Title!)

****

It's May again. The flowers are blooming, the grass is too long, and prom dresses are showing up on my newsfeed. It's the season of endings and beginnings. And just like every year, it knocks the wind out of me.

Fairmont High School is buzzing like it always does this time of year. And I find myself thinking-she should be here. She should be looking back on her high school memories with a knowing smile, helping some kid pick a tie for prom, telling someone their bangs are too much (with love, of course). Instead, I'm sitting here trying to make sense of another year without her.

Grief is strange. Some days I can laugh remembering her sass and quick wit. Other days, ever her name feels too heavy to say out loud. But then I get an email, or a card, or see a post from someone applying for her scholarship, and I remember: she is still here. Not in the way I want her to be. God, not even close. But in a hundred tiny ways-notes scribbled in notebooks, memories shared in passing, lives touched because she was here, even if it wasn't for long enough.

This scholarship-her scholarship-is more than money. It's a bridge. A way to connect the past with a future she didn't get to have. Every time a student applies, every time they write about how they want to carry her legacy forward, it stitches something back together in my heart. These kids-some of them weren't even born when she walked Fairmont's halls-but they write about her like they know her. And I swear, some of them do. Somehow.

I don't need perfection. I don't need straight-A students with 17 extracurriculars and a Nobel Peace Prize in progress. I want heart. I want passion. I want someone who knows life can be hard and unfair, but gets up anyway. Someone who will love fiercely, show up for others, and maybe throw a little side-eye at injustice-just like she did.

I'll keep writing here, as long as I can. As long as someone's reading. Because this pain doesn't go away, but telling her story helps. And if someone else can live a little louder, love a little deeper, and face life with a little more fire because of Melissa, then that means something. It means everything.

So here's to another spring. To the bright-eyed seniors about to take on the world. to the ones who carry her name in their hearts and on their application. And to my girl-always my girl-who left too soon but left so much behind,

Keep shining, sweet pea. I see you in every sunset, every laugh, every act of kindness. And I'm still so proud.

*****

The only thing I wouldn't have written was "sweet pea". I never called her that. Pretty girl, YES.

But the rest is pretty accurate.

And so appropriate since the Scholarship Awards are next week.

I'll post again with the recipients!

Love you and miss you EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Melissa.

Sunday, February 23, 2025

I'm BAAAACCCKKKK!

Didn't realize it's been almost a year since I last posted.

I need to come here more often. I had to work just to FIND the blog it's been that long.

Not on Social Media as much any more, politics has overwhelmed me. Melissa was so good

about expressing her opinion with facts. I admired that about her. Not going to go into politics on this post, but I WILL go there eventually. Too much going on NOT to.

But I'll start with the most recent excitement at the Fortener's...I had a total hip replacement 3 weeks ago (Feb 3 to be exact)! Received lots of great advice from friends who have had hip replacements - all left me with a positive outlook. No anxiety just ready to get rid of the pain. Had been having hip pain for over a year. Other than limping (which I noticed but no one else did), I never really talked about it. I finally went to the doctor, and PT was recommended first I believe insurance company requires it). PT didn't help. When I finally went back to the doctor end of summer, she said it was time for an x-ray.

X-ray showed osteoarthritis and right hip bone-on-bone. Definitely time for a hip replacement.

When I finally went to Orthopedic Surgeon (same doc who did Donny's rotator cuff surgery in the spring - that's ANOTHER story) I told him I was having pain in my left knee as well. Did an x-ray. Bone on bone. I will eventually need that replaced too, but going to put that off as long as I can.

Before the surgery, I had one person tell me he "walked around the block the day he got home from surgery", and another tell me he "played pickle ball two weeks after surgery!" WOW! This was going to be easier than I thought!

I thought I would be coming home the day of the surgery. So I got a general anesthesia instead of a spinal. One of the side effects of the general was nausea. Surgery only lasted 50 minutes (according to Donny, I don't remember). Not sure how long I was in recovery, but ten minutes out of recovery, PT shows up, stands me up with a walker, and walked me down the hall to a PT room. Stepped up on a platform, and back down (we have one step into our house), then up 5 steps, and back down (we live in a quad level with lots of steps). Passed with flying colors. Thought I would be heading home!

Got back to the room with Donny and Nick, took a drink of water (hadn't had anything to eat for 13 hours) and it came right back up. "Can't send you home if you can't keep anything down". So I stayed. Donny went home to get some real rest, and I spent the night. I should have agreed to that in the first place. Highly recommend staying one night if you ever have this done.

Got a little TLC overnight, and more PT (how to get in and out of the car, and sit on the toilet, specifically!). Ready to go by 10, but I had already ordered lunch so they let me stay a little longer.

I had some great nurses, a great surgeon, but ready to go home. Up and down steps from the day I got home, also got to sleep in our own bed at home! No problems. Pain meds helped me sleep. Felt great.

Surgery was on Monday. Two days later, our last class at UD. (We were moderators for the Adult Continuing Education Classes at University of Dayton with Donny's cousin Ed - that's ANOTHER story). Anyway, I didn't want to miss our last class because we had a special guest speaker that I had been talking to for a few weeks. I told Donny I would decide that morning - if I felt ok, I would go. And I DID! He dropped me off at the front door with my walker. We didn't have to walk far to the elevators to the second floor, then not far from the elevators to our classroom. I felt great and it was good to see everyone.

I really didn't think it would be this easy! Then the block wore off. Thank goodness for the pain meds. I'm not playing pickleball, and I haven't walked around the block yet, but have been to a couple of basketball games. And I finally drove for the first time in three weeks today.

We missed the Notre Dame, Illinois and Akron Pink Games, but hoping to make to a couple games before the end of the season. Then hopefully tournament games.

Also made it to the Fairmont Girls Basketball Banquet, Donny presented the Melissa Fortener McLaughlin B Positive Spirit Award this year. Fairmont is still in the tournament - District Champions. Playing this week in the Regionals. Best chance at a state run in almost ten years!

Morning after surgery. Had to wear something comfortable, so I chose my new

Fairmont shirt from Pink Game. 44 was Melissa's number when she played at Fairmont!

Amazing that they can put hip replacement hardware in an incision that small.

I talked to a nurse friend who has been in the operating room for hip replacements.

She gave me all the gory details. Donny wanted me to watch the video of a hip

replacement. After hearing Heather's description, NO THANKS.

Incision was about 4-5" covered with a clear sticky bandage here for two weeks

until my follow up. Seems to have shrunk a little bit.

And THERE IT IS! One screw holding in the cup that holds the ball joint,

then the rod that goes into the bone. Putting the rod into the bone was a description

that helped me decided not to watch a video of a replacement.

Also on this x ray, found out I have scoliosis. Both my sisters did (do) too.

Second time out - to District Finals!

Win #1!!

Bri (long braids) is a former student. I babysat her son, Ace, for a

couple months after he was born. He turned 7 today.

Bri runs a program called Bitty Ballers for kids 3-7 to learn the

fundamentals of basketball. A couple of Fairmont's players came

to help. (Me, Nico, Peyton, Bri, Morgan, Chloe)

Me and Kaylah at Pink Game

The 2025 recipient of the Melissa Fortener McLaughlin B Positive Spirit Award

Morgan Harlemann

Ready for surgery!

Me with Bitty Ballers (after reading Jenna Giacone's book,

Gabby's Got Game

(Ace in the back with his hands up)

***

I always tried to close a post with pictures/stories of Andrew and Max.

Well, they are both in high school now. Andrew is a Junior, Max a freshman.

They have pretty busy lives now. Andrew has a girlfriend, Ella (who we are excited to meet!),

Max just got his temps. Andrew is playing lacrosse, Max is focusing on football.

We'll be seeing them more once basketball is over and lacrosse starts.

I need to do this more often.

I miss Melissa's posts. I miss MELISSA.

Every day.

That will never change.

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Busy March/April!

If you follow this blog, you know that basketball saves us through the difficult holidays and that first part of January. Keeps us busy, and Spring is here before you know it.

This year, we travelled a little more to basketball games than in past years.

Started out traveling to Washington DC for the Notre Dame/Illinois game. I wore a shirt that said "Basketball is my favorite season" because we were rooting for both teams. ND won that game.

Travelled to Champagne, Ill for a couple of Ill games, Indianapolis for the Ill/IN game, Ball State for

Ball State/ND game, South Bend for a couple of ND games, Louisville for ND/Louisville game,

Albany, NY for Sweet Sixteen - ND vs. Oregon St. ND lost (we came home early, and were here for the call from Ed about Lynn. Things happen for a reason.)

Then to Indianapolis for Final Four for WBIT - Illinois vs. Wash St (Illinois won), then back to Indy two days later for finals. Illinois won the Championship!

Kind of going through basketball withdrawal...don't know if Maddy is staying at ND (hope so, ND is going to have a great team next year with Olivia Miles back, Hannah Hidalgo and Sonia Citron. Maddy would make it even better.

Took a few pictures that last couple of months too. Reminds me that keeping busy keeps us going.