April Showers

Another busy month...birthdays, holidays, school events....and getting used to a new blogger setup...
hard for me, but I actually think Fort would love this new setup...


Jack & Annie of the Magic Tree House Series by Mary Pope Osborne visit Greenmont

Easter Egg Hunt at the Fortener's

Max & Drew with cousin Joey (who was born a month after JP!) at
Fortener Easter Egg Hunt

Donny Max & Drew at Fairmont JV Softball Tournament
"Firebirds Fighting Cancer" proceeds to Melissa's Scholarship!

Bob Franz (of the infamous Franz family) JV Softball Coach
Honoring Melissa

Pam throws the first pitch....

Happy 90th Birthday Howard!

Doolittles Raiders celebrated the 70th Anniversary @ WPAFB.
The planes from Doolittles Raiders flew over the city that day -
RIGHT OVER my school!



Looking at all the exciting things that have been happening in the last month,  you might find this hard to believe...but the last couple of weeks have been really hard.  I guess I'll call it "April showers"...in my own little world.  "Showers" in the form of tears.  Don't always know what sets them off...I'm guessing Easter.  And coming up, Mother's Day....and finding things like the stickers above that she had in her scrapbook bag that I decided to look through.

I like to think that I KNOW why she bought these (I do - they were for Drew's scrapbook that she never got to finish. She took it to the hospital to work on, never had the energy to get to it - although she had everything she needed at her fingertips if she ever had the energy to do it)
I can see her shopping at the scrapbook store and seeing these...

HOMEMADE...
GRATITUDE...
WHERE YOU LIVE...
Warm place...
do it yourself (THAT Is probably the sticker that made her buy this!)..
down in the dumps...
family vacation...
joy...
CARE...
Happy Home...
Mother knows best...
Good Values...
sunshine...
protective...
good things...
TOGETHER...
Parent...
balancing act...
Calm...
comfort...
Life...
loved...
mom...
enjoy the party...
Remember.

all of these things are Melissa. I'm pretty sure she had a picture in mind for every sticker.
I miss her so much...every single day....

Don't sweat the small stuff...hug your kids and tell them you love them
EVERY day.

Looking at all the exciting things that have been happening in the last month,  you might find this hard to believe...but the last couple of weeks have been really hard.  I guess I'll call it "April showers"...in my own little world.  "Showers" in the form of tears.  Don't always know what sets them off...I'm guessing Easter.  And coming up, Mother's Day....and finding things like the stickers above that she had in her scrapbook bag that I decided to look through.
I like to think that I KNOW why she bought these (I do - they were for Drew's scrapbook that she never got to finish. She took it to the hospital to work on, never had the energy to get to it - although she had everything she needed at her fingertips if she ever had the energy to do it)
I can see her shopping at the scrapbook store and seeing these...

HOMEMADE...
GRATITUDE...
WHERE YOU LIVE...
Warm place...
do it yourself (THAT Is probably the sticker that made her buy this!)..
down in the dumps...
family vacation...
joy...
CARE...
Happy Home...
Mother knows best...
Good Values...
sunshine...
protective...
good things...
TOGETHER...
Parent...
balancing act...
Calm...
comfort...
Life...
loved...
mom...
enjoy the party...
Remember.
all of these things are Melissa. I'm pretty sure she had a picture in mind for every sticker.
I miss her so much...every single day....

Don't sweat the small stuff...hug your kids and tell them you love them EVERY day.

Happy Birthday Andrew - 4/4 he's 4!

Four years ago today...our second grandson arrived...ANDREW CHARLES. Our family was growing. And he came when we needed him. He got to meet his Aunt Fort and spend lots of time with her. I hope he remembers her. Nick, Mere, Donny and I ALL talk about Aunt Fort to Drew and Max.
Last few days, Andrew was about the reason Melissa would wake up. She LOVED him. He made her smile...and he's STILL making us smile. Happy Birthday Andrew Charles... WE LOVE YOU!

Andrew...THRILLED with his new STAR WARS legos!














Pamma, Andrew, PopPop in his new STAR WARS bedroom! Happy Birthday Drew!





























Aunt Fort LOVED Drew!




















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Spring...
not sure why, maybe it's ANOTHER season without Melissa...VERY sad lately. Going through pictures , trying to find some of her with Andrew...I just look at the pictures and can't believe she's gone. Just can't be possible.
I KNOW it has to be hard to understand how someone could possibly be in so much pain - even after three years. But there are days when the pain is unbelievable.
Still.
We are so blessed to have friends who accept us for who we are TODAY. Lately I havebeen going to the Compassionate Friends page on Facebook. It is a GODSEND. Helps me, and a lot of bereaved parents, understand that we are truly not alone. We are NOT crazy. If you get a chance, check it out sometime. I have never seen a post from someone who hasn't lost a child, but it really gives you insight into where we are...early in our grief or ten - fifteen years into our grief. It never goes away. We just learn to get through one day at a time, and accept the fact that there will be days that will be hard to get through. Days that we want to turn back the clock and CHANGE what happened. But somehow, we get through those days.
If you get a chance to read some of the posts, it will help you understand what to say, what NOT to say, and why we do what we do. We hold on to every thread to keep our kids with us. But we all understand that we go through this differently, and there is NO right way to grieve and NO timetables.

So another spring is here, and I am missing Melissa terribly...could be Easter too.
I just miss her.

Please don't ever forget her....and when you think of a story or something she said or did that made you laugh...tell us....we LOVE that...

Happy Easter - enjoy your families!