Sunday, July 7, 2019

Making a Difference

If you read the blog, you more than likely saw the story on Channel 7 about Melissa.

I received a call about six weeks ago from James Brown from Channel 7, asking if he could interview us about Melissa.  If you know me or if you have read the blog, you know that any opportunity I have to talk about my daughter, I take it!  After talking to him for a few minutes, I asked why he was doing this.  Once a month, Channel 7 does a story about someone who is making a difference in the community.  Cheryl (McHenry), the other anchor is a friend of mine from grade school and high school.  She has been the emcee at the Fort 5K from the beginning.  She asked Jim to talk to me.

In all honestly, I was a little embarrassed.   I am the first person to say "if you are going to do something for someone, make it a random act of kindness."  I just feel like you don't have to shout from the rooftops when you do something for someone else.   However, they came to us, and it was another opportunity to share Melissa's story.  We were humbled and honored that they wanted to interview us.

We set up a date for him and the videographer to come to the house to interview us.  They were here for about an hour.  I know it probably doesn't make some people comfortable, but our house is kind of a museum.  A lot of memorabilia of Melissa, but of Nick as well.   I am very sentimental and it is comforting, not just to me but to Donny as well.  The videographer loved it.  Gave him lots of stuff for the story.

Anyway, in that hour, I expressed that the reason we do what we do is to pay it forward.  There is NO WAY we could ever repay all the kindnesses we and Melissa and John received.  All we could do is pay it forward.  And we did not do this alone.

Angie suggested the fundraiser for a scholarship in Melissa's name.  Bob Franz suggested and started the FORT 5K.    Paulie and Nettie were instrumental in starting the Breast Cancer Fundraiser every October in Melissa's honor first, then in her memory.  

The Scholarship Fundraiser was in Oct 2009.  Less than a year after Melissa died.  I could barely get off the couch after she passed away, not motivated to do much of anything.  Couldn't answer the phone.  Didn't WANT to talk to anyone.  Donny went to the grocery.  He went back to work almost immediately (because he had to), I was off work from the day she went into the hospital (the Monday before Thanksgiving) until a week or two after she passed.  Then I only worked half days for awhile. I wasn't functioning.

Fortunately, we had good friends, and Melissa's good friends who would call and check on us.  When Angie suggested the fundraiser, she motivated me to get up and get out.  Not sure how, but with the help of social media (mostly FB at the time)we got over $14,000 in donations.  From the Union Hall (that was donated), to the beer, the food, baskets for raffles, items for a Silent Auction and security help from Melissa's Uncle Ron and her former Rugby Coach Jen and her mom-we raised $24,000.
I'm guessing there were 20 other people who volunteered to help as well - our friends, Melissa's friends, family.  It got us motivated to do even more.

Over $20,000 has been given out in Scholarships to graduating Seniors from Fairmont, along with
another $4-5,000 in scholarships given at the annual FORT 5K.

The original 5K was organized by Bob Franz and his daughter Chelsea.  He was the softball coach at Fairmont at the time and a family friend.  They did it for a couple of years, then we did it for a year before asking Lacey Drake, the girls basketball coach at the time,  if they would take it over as a fundraiser.  We continue to help with the 5K, as does Bob and several other members of the Franz family.  This year had the biggest participation yet - over 250 people and raised over $6600.00 for the basketball team.

The Kelts Rugby Club continues to hold an annual Breast Cancer Fundraiser in October (Oct 12 this year).  Half the money goes to Melissa's Scholarship Fund, the other half goes to Breast Cancer research in Melissa's name.  Nettie and Paulie continue to organize this event.

The main reason for the story on Channel 7 was the contribution to Hospice for stationary.
But everything and EVERYONE involved in the above mentioned events could be part of this story!

After reading my journals at Christmastime last year, I read something that Melissa said when she was in Hospice (I wrote down a lot of things that she said...I didn't want to forget anything!).  She thought Hospice needed a Stationary Room.  A place where people could get notecards, journals, pens.  Writing was important to her, and she thought it could be important to others as well.

So we did it.  The Channel 7 piece states that we make the contribution to Hospice, which we DO.  But it is through the foundation that invests the money for her scholarship fund.  We are fortunate that the Kelts continue to contribute to the fund (through the BC Fundraiser)-that is the money we award in scholarships every year.  Her fund is growing and we have the opportunity to donate to others as well.  This was what MELISSA wanted, so we had to do it!

We have NOT done this alone.  We are so grateful to everyone who has not only volunteered in the different fundraisers, but to anyone who continues to share Melissa's story...they are keeping her memory alive.  Nothing makes us happier.

All of the events keep Melissa a part of our lives.  But spending time with Nick and his family is what keeps us going.

We love having the boys - and had the opportunity to keep them for a couple of days last week.
Nick and Mere went to Vegas for the wedding of a good friend.  Her dad got them for a couple of days then they came to stay with us for a few days.

Coming to Pamma and PopPops is kind of like going to school and having a field trip every day.
We went bowling, swimming at the Rec Center, then took them to the Mark Farner (of Grand Funk Railroad) concert.  Second concert of the summer (and second concert EVER) for them.  They enjoyed it, but by 10:00 they were both ready to go.  Me too.  Worked out perfectly.

Swimming at the Kettering Rec Center


Saving seats for cousins

Waiting for the concert to start


Love spending time with Max and Andrew!

Also had a visit from Ace - who I babysat for a short time (from 6 weeks - 4 months!)
Ace with Donny's Silver Medal.  He'll be an athlete someday.

4th of July

Last time we had this much company for the 4th of July Melissa was here.  Andrew was just three months old.  I remember she sat on the swing on the deck and held him most of the day.  It was about the time the cancer came back.  She wasn't feeling well, but she and John were here.  And she loved spending time with Andrew!

Haven't had the inclination to have a large group of people here for, oh, the last ten years or so.
We've done a little work around the house and felt ready.

There were probably 25-30 people here, mostly family.  A few stayed for fireworks - we can see Kettering's fireworks from our front yard.

First Jan (and Ron) walk in the door, then my cousin Chris.  Jan and Chris were our Flower Girl and Ring Bearer in our wedding.  Wow.  We are getting old.

Cousin Sharon, enjoying the air conditioning and the picnic food!

Fun Uncle Tom.

Nephew Matthew - we celebrated his 40th Birthday that day as well!

And what do you know...Melissa was there too!

Matthew and Donna's boyfriend Randy shared some tunes on their guitars.  They are both pretty talented!


It was a busy day - then one day off before the next crew came in for the Diana Ross concert at Fraze.

Our concert going friends.  We have another 6 or 7 concerts to go to with them this summer!
Randi and Carolyn, Mange and Mary.  Tonight was to see Diana Ross.  Got started a little late because of lightning, then the lightning stopped and the rain started.  Poured.  For the first 40 minutes of the concert.  Thank goodness for ponchos.  

Diana Ross is 75 years old and STILL is amazing.  She includes the crowd and her voice hasn't changed a lick.  Incredible!!!

Plus she is beautiful!  

Really enjoyed the last four days.  It's only going to get busier.

Enjoy the rest of the summer...before you know it, football will be starting.  Can't wait for that!





SUNDAY, JULY 7, 2019


Making a Difference

If you read the blog, you more than likely saw the story on Channel 7 about Melissa.

I received a call about six weeks ago from James Brown from Channel 7, asking if he could interview us about Melissa.  If you know me or if you have read the blog, you know that any opportunity I have to talk about my daughter, I take it!  After talking to him for a few minutes, I asked why he was doing this.  Once a month, Channel 7 does a story about someone who is making a difference in the community.  Cheryl (McHenry), the other anchor is a friend of mine from grade school and high school.  She has been the emcee at the Fort 5K from the beginning.  She asked Jim to talk to me.

In all honestly, I was a little embarrassed.   I am the first person to say "if you are going to do something for someone, make it a random act of kindness."  I just feel like you don't have to shout from the rooftops when you do something for someone else.   However, they came to us, and it was another opportunity to share Melissa's story.  We were humbled and honored that they wanted to interview us.

We set up a date for him and the videographer to come to the house to interview us.  They were here for about an hour.  I know it probably doesn't make some people comfortable, but our house is kind of a museum.  A lot of memorabilia of Melissa, but of Nick as well.   I am very sentimental and it is comforting, not just to me but to Donny as well.  The videographer loved it.  Gave him lots of stuff for the story.

Anyway, in that hour, I expressed that the reason we do what we do is to pay it forward.  There is NO WAY we could ever repay all the kindnesses we and Melissa and John received.  All we could do is pay it forward.  And we did not do this alone.

Angie suggested the fundraiser for a scholarship in Melissa's name.  Bob Franz suggested and started the FORT 5K.    Paulie and Nettie were instrumental in starting the Breast Cancer Fundraiser every October in Melissa's honor first, then in her memory.

The Scholarship Fundraiser was in Oct 2009.  Less than a year after Melissa died.  I could barely get off the couch after she passed away, not motivated to do much of anything.  Couldn't answer the phone.  Didn't WANT to talk to anyone.  Donny went to the grocery.  He went back to work almost immediately (because he had to), I was off work from the day she went into the hospital (the Monday before Thanksgiving) until a week or two after she passed.  Then I only worked half days for awhile. I wasn't functioning.

Fortunately, we had good friends, and Melissa's good friends who would call and check on us.  When Angie suggested the fundraiser, she motivated me to get up and get out.  Not sure how, but with the help of social media (mostly FB at the time)we got over $14,000 in donations.  From the Union Hall (that was donated), to the beer, the food, baskets for raffles, items for a Silent Auction and security help from Melissa's Uncle Ron and her former Rugby Coach Jen and her mom-we raised $24,000.
I'm guessing there were 20 other people who volunteered to help as well - our friends, Melissa's friends, family.  It got us motivated to do even more.

Over $20,000 has been given out in Scholarships to graduating Seniors from Fairmont, along with
another $4-5,000 in scholarships given at the annual FORT 5K.

The original 5K was organized by Bob Franz and his daughter Chelsea.  He was the softball coach at Fairmont at the time and a family friend.  They did it for a couple of years, then we did it for a year before asking Lacey Drake, the girls basketball coach at the time,  if they would take it over as a fundraiser.  We continue to help with the 5K, as does Bob and several other members of the Franz family.  This year had the biggest participation yet - over 250 people and raised over $6600.00 for the basketball team.

The Kelts Rugby Club continues to hold an annual Breast Cancer Fundraiser in October (Oct 12 this year).  Half the money goes to Melissa's Scholarship Fund, the other half goes to Breast Cancer research in Melissa's name.  Nettie and Paulie continue to organize this event.

The main reason for the story on Channel 7 was the contribution to Hospice for stationary.
But everything and EVERYONE involved in the above mentioned events could be part of this story!

After reading my journals at Christmastime last year, I read something that Melissa said when she was in Hospice (I wrote down a lot of things that she said...I didn't want to forget anything!).  She thought Hospice needed a Stationary Room.  A place where people could get notecards, journals, pens.  Writing was important to her, and she thought it could be important to others as well.

So we did it.  The Channel 7 piece states that we make the contribution to Hospice, which we DO.  But it is through the foundation that invests the money for her scholarship fund.  We are fortunate that the Kelts continue to contribute to the fund (through the BC Fundraiser)-that is the money we award in scholarships every year.  Her fund is growing and we have the opportunity to donate to others as well.  This was what MELISSA wanted, so we had to do it!

We have NOT done this alone.  We are so grateful to everyone who has not only volunteered in the different fundraisers, but to anyone who continues to share Melissa's story...they are keeping her memory alive.  Nothing makes us happier.

All of the events keep Melissa a part of our lives.  But spending time with Nick and his family is what keeps us going.

We love having the boys - and had the opportunity to keep them for a couple of days last week.
Nick and Mere went to Vegas for the wedding of a good friend.  Her dad got them for a couple of days then they came to stay with us for a few days.

Coming to Pamma and PopPops is kind of like going to school and having a field trip every day.
We went bowling, swimming at the Rec Center, then took them to the Mark Farner (of Grand Funk Railroad) concert.  Second concert of the summer (and second concert EVER) for them.  They enjoyed it, but by 10:00 they were both ready to go.  Me too.  Worked out perfectly.

Swimming at the Kettering Rec Center


Saving seats for cousins

Waiting for the concert to start


Love spending time with Max and Andrew!

Also had a visit from Ace - who I babysat for a short time (from 6 weeks - 4 months!)
Ace with Donny's Silver Medal.  He'll be an athlete someday.

4th of July

Last time we had this much company for the 4th of July Melissa was here.  Andrew was just three months old.  I remember she sat on the swing on the deck and held him most of the day.  It was about the time the cancer came back.  She wasn't feeling well, but she and John were here.  And she loved spending time with Andrew!

Haven't had the inclination to have a large group of people here for, oh, the last ten years or so.
We've done a little work around the house and felt ready.

There were probably 25-30 people here, mostly family.  A few stayed for fireworks - we can see Kettering's fireworks from our front yard.

First Jan (and Ron) walk in the door, then my cousin Chris.  Jan and Chris were our Flower Girl and Ring Bearer in our wedding.  Wow.  We are getting old.

Cousin Sharon, enjoying the air conditioning and the picnic food!

Fun Uncle Tom.

Nephew Matthew - we celebrated his 40th Birthday that day as well!

And what do you know...Melissa was there too!

Matthew and Donna's boyfriend Randy shared some tunes on their guitars.  They are both pretty talented!


It was a busy day - then one day off before the next crew came in for the Diana Ross concert at Fraze.

Our concert going friends.  We have another 6 or 7 concerts to go to with them this summer!
Randi and Carolyn, Mange and Mary.  Tonight was to see Diana Ross.  Got started a little late because of lightning, then the lightning stopped and the rain started.  Poured.  For the first 40 minutes of the concert.  Thank goodness for ponchos.  

Diana Ross is 75 years old and STILL is amazing.  She includes the crowd and her voice hasn't changed a lick.  Incredible!!!

Plus she is beautiful!  

Really enjoyed the last four days.  It's only going to get busier.

Enjoy the rest of the summer...before you know it, football will be starting.  Can't wait for that!































NO COMMENTS:

Preview
Preview

























Tuesday, June 25, 2019

More Signs

I thought it was appropriate to post this week for a couple of reasons.  First of all, Donny gets home from Albuquerque late tomorrow - our 43rd anniversary.  He played softball in the Senior Olympics on the Dayton Classics softball team.   They ended up with a Silver medal.  Plus he's had a lot of fun. I chose not to go because we have multiple trips for softball this summer.  Kind of wish I would have gone,  but glad I was home to support a good friend who just lost her dad yesterday.

Anyway, Donny gets home just in time for our Compassionate Friends meeting.  He is the speaker this month.  He always volunteers for our meeting on Signs from our Loved Ones.  He is in the process of putting a book together on not just signs we've received, but others as well.

And perfectly timed, Melissa has been around.

A couple of weeks ago we finally had a beautiful day.  So I took my four mile walk.  Right before I left I got a message from Angie that Fort was in her dream the night before.  I love when her friends share when she visits.  I asked Angie "next time she visits, tell her to come see her mom.  I miss her".

So on my walk, as I approached Delco Park, I asked her to send me a song and let me know she was still with me.  (I listen to an old walkman-change the channels a lot)  For awhile when I would get to Delco Park, it was like a portal opened up and I could have a two way conversation with Melissa.
I was hoping she would hear me this time too.

The next song that came on the radio was The Promise by a group called When in Rome.  I think it was a one hit wonder song.  Anyway - the words immediately struck me...

If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger
You know in the end, I'll always be there
But when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger
Take a look all around, and I'll be there.

Two things.  The lyrics told me exactly what I needed to hear.  The name of the song - The Promise.  She was promising me she would always be around.

I had a rough month  last month, and I needed this comfort.  All I had to do was ask.

When I heard "take a look all around, and I'll be there."  I looked up and saw this...


She sent me a rainbow.  On a beautiful, blue sky day.  A promise.

This was the first sign.

I got a message from an old friend (he's actually a parent of former students from MM-and we are now friends).  

The message said "I have a miracle for you"

And I said "Melissa.  Is it Melissa???"

He proceeded to tell me his daughter was driving his Mom's car and was rear ended.  The guy who hit her took off.  When the police officer got there, he couldn't believe that it didn't hit the gas tank.
When the officer said that, Steve said "Fort stopped it."  Then he explained to the officer who Melissa was - and the car had a FORT sticker on it right where he hit.

Steve is convinced Melissa stopped it.  


His daughter was ok - but has whiplash which can be painful.  But it could have been worse.  
She's still around.

Then today, on another walk, I was rehearsing (in my head) a short speech that I will give at a ceremony we have been invited to.  I'll post about it after the event (July 24). It's about Melissa.
Anyway, as I'm rehearsing what I'm going to say (and listening to the radio on my walk) the song "Everything's gonna be alright"  comes on the radio.  
She's listening and telling me not to worry.

The thing about signs?  You have to listen.  You have to accept that they are trying to get through to you.  I believe everyone gets signs, some people just don't listen.

Excited to hear about other signs at the meeting.  I know Donny will add them to his book!

***

Took the boys to see the Menus at the Fraze - their first concert!  So much fun!!!

took ALL the boys...Andrew Max AND Nick!

Just wanted to get a picture of Donny before he left, and this is the pose I got.  Silly Donny.

Donny's team "all tatted up" for the big game.  The next game was for the Gold Medal.
Ended up winning the Silver.  

Silver Medalists

Great form. 

and he's cute too!!!

He'll be home just in time to celebrate our anniversary.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  
I'm ready for him to get home!!!

While he was gone, his sister Jan invited me to the Dragons game - got to see a friend I haven't seen in probably 10 years - Les Davis.  He worked security at UD when I worked there.  He knew Melissa and loved her too.  Said he still carries a picture of her when we went to a UD football game (my cousins son played for the opposing team.  Melissa asked Les to take her on the field for pictures - and I got a picture of them too!)  He was one of the last people in line at her funeral - he waited 3 hours...

Me & Les

I did get a few things done while Donny was gone.  Went through some of Dad's things.  Took 3 boxes of things to St. Vincent's, threw out a huge bag of "stuff", and found a few things I had been looking for.  And didn't make a dent.  I thought I needed a job.  I don't - I HAVE one!!!!

Enjoy the beautiful weather while it lasts!