SIGNS

Melissa is never far away.  She shows us in a lot of ways.

If you've read this blog for awhile, you know that we started getting signs not long after she passed away.  Songs, butterflies, and now hearts.

The first time she sent me a heart was the fall of 2014.

I try to take a 4 mile walk every day.  Whenever I walk, I talk to Melissa.  Seems that when I get to Delco Park, I can hear her.  We have discussions.  Sounds crazy, but it's true.  It's like there's some kind of portal there, or a vortex of energy.

The first time I realized it, I was talking to her.  She was sending me music - can't specifically remember the songs, but the words of the songs were talking to me.  Sometimes that's how she talks to me.

This summer has been rough.  It's like the first year.  Kind of laying low.  I go out occasionally, but just to meet a friend.  The only group thing I've done this summer is the Compassionate Friends Conference.

Last week on my walk, I was talking to her, telling her that I needed to hear from her.  Immediately there was a song on the radio that said what I needed to hear (unfortunately, I can't remember the song - I should have written it down as soon as I got home!).  Right after that, I heard her say, "Mom. Change the channel."  So I did.  The first station I came to was playing the song Lightning Striking Again by Lou Christy.  The song Sam sends to Randy.  It was kind of eerie.  Then she said "Mom, Sam is with me."  I looked up, and there was a cloud (no lie) that looked like an arrow.  Weird...and I thought "what is the arrow pointing to?"  and it was pointing to a heart shaped cloud!  Unfortunately I didn't have my phone with me ( I usually take my walkman), so I couldn't get a picture.

Two days ago I was on my walk.  Hot morning, the most beautiful blue sky...just like the sky in Scottsdale the entire week we were there.  Only thin, wispy cirrus clouds in the sky.  Another walk where I was talking to Melissa, crying, asking her to show me she was with me.  I was almost to Wilmington Pike and I looked up and there was the puffiest, most perfectly shaped HEART cloud!  The only cloud in the sky at the time!  Again, I didn't have my phone, so I couldn't take a picture.  The cloud came apart and was complete gone in about 20 seconds.  But it was there.  And so was she.  Makes me smile and cry at the same time.

I am missing her SO much this summer.    I am so thankful for Donny and my wonderful friends.  Not sure how'd I'd get through without them.

Love you and miss you Melissa.  Every single day.