She's still here....

I am sitting here watching Dr. Phil.  His guests today are a family who lost their daughter to a tragic traffic accident.  Ten years ago.  The mother has not changed their daughters bedroom in that ten years. Everything has been left intact...just the way the daughter left it.  He is giving her holy hell.
I understand SOME of what Dr. Phil is saying, but I also understand where this mother is coming from, in some ways.  It's really hard to change things when they are gone.  You want things to be the same as when they were HERE.  I don't have a whole room with Melissa's stuff, but I do keep the necklace that she took off when she was here that last Christmas, right in the place she took it off.  We DO have lots of reminders of Melissa throughout our house.

But one thing he said bothered me.  He said "She is not here."  I beg to differ.

Every day Melissa is here with us.  I am not motivated often to get things done around the house.  But when I AM motivated, I get as much done as I can...so last we, I cleaned my room, including my closet.  I found a card that Melissa had given Donny for Father's Day a few years back.  I'm pretty sure she had a hand in that...I put that card in with my card on Father's Day.  He loved it.  That same day,
Father's Day, Donny & Nick play in the Annual Fortener Father's Day Golf Outing.  This year, my cousin Jim & his son-in-law Tony were in their foursome.  At one point Donny needed a divet repairer. Tony reached in his bag and pulled one out and threw it to Nick...when Nick caught it, he said "Where'd you get this Tony????"  He said "I have no idea..."

Later in the game, Tony found a pink ball with a breast cancer ribbon.  Gave them both to Donny.
She IS here.  Every day.

(oh, and about Dr. Phil.  He did do something nice for this family at the end of the show.  He offered to have someone come in and help clean up the room, leaving some of their daughters things, and also having a memorial for their daughter when they do it.  Good way to handle this.  I feel better about Dr. Phil's advice on this...even though he's never experienced it himself....)

*******

Can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted.  Writing is good for me.  Been a little busy, between the boys and my dad.  Taking a break from the boys for the summer ( and I miss them TERRIBLY), but enjoying more time with dad.

Busy with graduations, festivals, weddings, rugby, and softball every Tuesday.  That's why I love summer...it's easier to get through each day when there is so much going on.

Went to the Cincy-Dayton women's annual rugby game at Eastwood Park.  Melissa played there MANY times.  Now her former coach and good friend Jen is coaching the Dayton team.  Took the boys and they found the lagoon.  They were more interested in that than the game.  More bugs at the the lagoon....

Two graduations - Chelsea Welch - who WAS going to be playing basketball at Duquense, but since the coach is moving to PITT, she will be playing there now.  Congrats Chelsea!

...and A.J. Breslin, my cousin Sharon's grandson (ok, I've always called A.J.

MY cousin, because that doesn't make me sound so old....

Congrats AJ!

Our softball team, sponsored by Angie's Firehouse Tavern.

Donny gave FORT bracelets to the whole team (and some girls on

the other team too)...we run ruled the team we played that night.

There's something in those bracelets....

Went to the Red's game with our good friends Bob & Penny.  

On the way home, saw dad's car at the VFW and stopped to visit.

(Bob's dad and my dad were good friends growing up)

Couldn't get the boys to take a nap one day...until I got them 

in the car to take them home.  They don't sleep much 

at Pamma's...ALWAYS want to find something fun to do!

Our good friends Curt (Mange) & Mary Clifford.  He looks happy

because he just retired from Portsmouth High School.  Taught and was

the head football coach for over 35 years.  They are our "cruise" friends too.

Donny & Mange @ daughter Caitlin's wedding

Along the river in Portsmouth, BEAUTIFUL murals of early Portsmouth.

didn't know it, but Roy Rogers was from Portsmouth!

...and there are some beautiful gardens along the main street, along with some awesome antique shops!

Stopped by the St. Helen's Festival.  (the church we grew up in, and where we all went to grade school)  Ran into Father Dave, who is now the Pastor.  He used to be at Ascension.  He got to talking to dad, and dad told him he "ran this festival in the 70s".  He WAS the Chairman one year in the early 70s.  Father Dave left for a minute, brought back all the current Chairmen, AND photographers to take pictures of dad with them, then announced dad's name over the loudspeaker.  Made dad's day!

Kettering Schools planted a new tree for Jackie...they didn't take care of the first one I bought and it died.  Can't have that...The new one is beautiful - right next to Melissa's bench by the Athletic Office.

Thanks Kettering Schools!

Stopped to visit Melissa & JP, planted some flowers and cleaned it up a little.

I miss you both so much.....

Bob & Penny went camping at Indian Lake...took us out on the lake by John's mom and dad's old place at Sassafrass Point, then to our favorite restaurant on the lake, The Tilton Hilton (the floor inside is 'tilton...REALLY...and the best burger I've ever had!

FATHER'S DAY

Grandpa Irv with Max & Andrew

PopPop with Max and Andrew

Took dad to the brunch at the VFW.  They had a raffle for the veterans...

Dad won himself a nice hoe.....

And on THAT note, that's all I have for this month.  Had to end with dad this month...Melissa would have LOVED this story.  And I know she would have ended with it!

Big month coming up.  Will have lots more to post then.  Enjoy this mild (and wet) summer.

I'm kind of enjoying the cooler weather.  Gotta get out and get my 4 miles in....

2013 Scholarship winner is...

  The scholarship was presented this year by Andy Aracri, a good friend of Melissa's in high school.  (Angie has presented the award the last 3 years). This years recipient will be attending Bellermine University in Louisville, Ky. in the medical field, and will also be playing softball there.  At Fairmont she was active in the United Student Body, Softball, participated in preparing for the First Annual Melissa Fortener McLaughlin 5K, held a part time job, and maintained above average grades.  There were 13 applicants this year.  We are pleased to present this years $1,000 Scholarship to Jessica Dalzell.  Congratulations!

And thanks again to the Cincinnati Kelts Rugby Club, the Fairmont Softball Team, and individuals who have contributed to Melissa's Scholarship fund.  Your contributions ensure the scholarship will continue for many years to come.

    ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***  ***  ***  ***  ***

Another busy month...flew to Florida to spend some time with my dad and bring him home for a couple of months.    He kept us busy at his favorite places...the VFW and City Limits.  Couldn't keep up with him, so he made sure we were home every night before 9:00...then he went out again.  Told him not to make it too late, but he didn't listen.  I guess when you're almost 83, you can do whatever you want. (I feel like I have a teenager again...)
Did get to spend a day at the beach, and a day at the pool.  May is not a good month to visit Florida, nor is September.  Love Bug months.  Not good.  They don't sting or bite, just very annoying.  Thousands of them.

won a little money...

stopped by the beach for a couple of photos...

                                                          Donna & Dad

Me & Dad

Donna & me

fun shot on the beach...

Donna in her bikini...

me with George H.W. Bush look-alike at the VFW

That's pretty much it.  VFW.  Every night.  Dad has his routines, and he didn't change them at all. We got used to it after a couple of days.  Not used to going out as much as he does though.  It was good to get home to my OWN routines!

Mother's Day

This is a hard day...but Nick always comes through.  Pretty much lets me decide whatever I want to do.  Went to breakfast this morning with Donny, Nick, Mere, Andrew & Max. Tomorrow Nick and the boys are coming over and hopefully we'll be watching 

Flight of the Navigator.  One of Nick & Melissa's favorite movies.  (We've watched Goonies so many times the boys have memorized it. That was another of their favorites. I think Andrew and Max will like this one too.) I can't think of anything better to do on Mother's Day...it will be like they're both here with me.  

Boy do I miss you Melissa...but will celebrate the day with Nick and remember you. Always.

some photos of the best kids EVER...

and of course 

Happy Mother's Day to my mom...and Happy Birthday too Mom!

...and OF COURSE I end with the two best grandkids EVER...

Now how can I not smile?  

Enjoy the spring weather...if you're lucky enough to be having spring weather right now!

(It's Mother's Day and we're dropping to the 30s tonight!)

go figure.

Jekyll & Hyde ~ 5K ~ Portsmouth...

I have to admit, the last couple of months have been hard...especially the last couple of weeks.  Couldn't figure out why I was on the verge of tears almost constantly.  Then I realized it is just a little over 3 months since Sue passed away.  I can't even believe I'm saying that....still doesn't seem real.

The kids keep asking "when are we going to Boonshoft?"  I keep putting it off.  It was Sue's Christmas gift to the boys.  I just can't go there yet.  (the last couple of times I took them there, Sue went with me. She would take one of the boys, I would take the other.  We had so much fun.  They LOVED their Aunt Sue.)

And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway), I miss Melissa EVERY day.  Hard to want to go on some days.  But my calendar keeps  filling up, and that is  good for me.

I'll start with A.J.  (this would have been the headline if Melissa were posting the blog, I guarantee it)

I say I'm A.J.'s cousin.   But really, A.J.'s GRANDMA is my first cousin.  That just makes me sound so old.

A.J. is a senior at Fairmont.  A very talented senior.  Last week, he had the lead in the musical Jekyll & Hyde.  He was Jekyll, and he was Hyde.  Here is the bio from the program:

"Jekyll & Hyde is the fourth Fairmont musical for senior A.J. Breslin, who played Jean Valjean in Les Miserables, Archibald Craven in The Secret Garden and Tobias Ragg in Sweeney Todd.  He also played Dr. Gibbs in the 2010 performance of the play Our Town and starred in the Fairmont's fall 2012 production of Ordinary People.  A tenor in the a cappella group Eleventh Hour, he also has been a member of Illusion Show Choir, the a cappella group Fusion, Men's Chorus and Symphonic Chorale."

...and they forget to mention that he is related to the Fortener's.  On Pam's side.  My dad would say he gets his singing talent from him.  I've heard his mom sing...(Leanne), I think he gets it from her.  And as for our family, Melissa wasn't a bad singer either.

He is going places.  Remember his name.  And someday, you can say "HEY. I know him from somewhere...OH YEA.  Fort's blog!  He's related to Fort!"  She would be SO proud of him. (The story is, his grandma babysat me and my siblings, I babysat A.J.'s mom, A.J.'s mom babysat Melissa & Nick, Melissa babysat for A.J. Lindsay, & Katie, now Lindsay has babysat for Andrew and Max.  Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, A.J. was AMAZING in Jekyll &Hyde.  I actually do a pretty good rendition myself on a daily basis...but nothing like he does.  His siblings are all pretty talented too - Lindsay plays on the Fairmont Varsity girls basketball team, Katie is on the track team and Michael plays ice hockey.
I dont know how Leanne and Tony do it.  All good kids too.

I wish Melissa were here to follow all of them...


FIRST ANNUAL MELISSA FORTENER McLAUGHLIN 5K 
HUGE SUCCESS!
  The Fairmont Softball team took the "Firebirds Fighting Cancer" one step further by adding a 5K this year.  In Melissa's honor!  A portion of the proceeds will go to Melissa's Scholarship fund. (Recipient of Scholarship to be named in the next couple weeks!)

133 people registered, 116 participated.  The cold morning might have kept some away, but it was actually a perfect morning for a run/walk/crawl.    The 5K was to be followed by a weekend of softball games (several schools were registered to participate) but unfortunately the weather didn't cooperate and the diamonds weren't playable.  But it didn't stop the 5K OR the Balloon Release that followed.
It was awesome.

Thanks Chelsea for organizing this event, and Marianne and Marcy for the amazing pictures!
And thanks to everyone who participated!

      Logo on the tshirts (medals had same logo)

Shea Morgan (from the girls basketball team) and a teammate from her AAU team

I got to do a little public speaking - I LOVE talking about Melissa, and some info about breast cancer awareness...and the race is on...

Runners/walkers/crawlers...on your mark...get set....

GO!

...and they're OFF!

Rachel, a friend of Melissa's (in the pink) running her first 5K!

The line of people (with the stroller) rugby friends of Melissa's!

Bob Franz, Fairmont Head Softball Coach @ Finish Line

Patti, Dave & Jodi, good friends

Pamma, Andrew, PopPop, ready to cross the Finish Line!

Mia and Riley.  Daughters of friends of Melissa's!

Angie crossing the finish line with Bennett

Donny & friend Jay Niswonger with their medals

Balloon Release

Fairmont H.S. Softball team, ready to hand out medals.

Thanks girls for volunteering!

Firebirds for FORT (with Fort bracelets)!

Donny & Coach Chelsea (in the navy jacket) awarding medals.

Chelsea was the event organizer.  She did an incredible job.

THANKS CHELSEA!

G.G. Fortener.  Donny's mom.  She guarded the finish line.

She was a little emotional when SHE got a medal!

(Melissa would love this too)

After the race, stopped by to visit Melissa...she gets a medal too!

If you didn't make it this year, the good thing is, this was the first ANNUAL.

That means we're doing it again NEXT year.  So we'll see you then.

It's good exercise (breast cancer prevention) and FUN!

*~*~*~*~*~*

The fun continued this weekend.  We have been trying to make it to Portsmouth for the six months to visit our friends Curt (Mange) and Mary.  They are the couple we went on the cruise with last summer. Bought tickets to concerts TWICE that we had to back out of at the last minute.  And THOUGHT it was going to happen again.  First I will tell you that Curt & Mary are our friends whose daughter Courtney was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when she was 14.  She survived that.  When she was 22, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  Fought it for 6 years.  She died two years ago when she was just 28.  They have two other children, Caitlyn, who is getting married in about a month, and Tyler, who just got engaged yesterday.  On Thursday, I got a text from Mary saying she was in Cincinnati with Caitlyn.  She was having surgery.  For cancer.  She has basal cell carcinoma, and had it removed from her nose, and a small spot on her shoulder.  The surgery went well. But it was traumatic going through this AGAIN.  I talked to Mary and said "if you want to cancel, we are ok and will understand". But she said "I need to do something fun."  So we went.  She is my inspiration.  They are right where we are, but somehow they are in the midst of planning a wedding, now another wedding, AND going through this cancer thing again.  We finally got to go to a concert with them (and some of their friends) at Shawnee State College in downtown Portsmouth.  Great venue - and, well, for OLD people, great bands.  The Buckinghams (Kind of a Drag), and The Guess Who.  Went out for a drink afterward, then back to Mange and Mary's to spend the night.  We were up until 2 talking.  We are quickly becoming pretty good friends after not seeing each other for almost 40 years...we have a lot in common.

Mange and Donny 

Pam & Mary

Got up late, Mary made breakfast and we talked for another two or three hours.  Left Portsmouth and headed for Hocking Hills.  Donny has been wanting to go there for a LONG time.  Hocking Hills is between Ohio University and Ohio State.  I'm pretty sure Melissa has been there a few times.  I seem to remember some stories (if you remember any stories of her @ Hocking Hills, can you share with me?)

Anyway, it was a beautiful day, perfect weather for hiking.  So we did.  Old Man's Cave and Cedar Falls.  Just a couple of miles to each...I mean, if we can do a 5K, we can hike a few miles AND enjoy the beauty of nature!

Will definitely return.  Didn't have enough daylight to see everything Donny wanted to see. 

Might even make it a weekend next time...

Ok...you know the routine.  

Have to end with Andrew and Max.  It is only right.  It is what MELISSA would do.

Found a LEGO magazine and was reading it to Andrew & Max.  There were pictures of kids in the magazine that had built things and sent their picture in.  Andrew runs over to his legos, whips this thing together and says "take my picture Pamma and send it in!"

...and of course IMMEDIATELY Max puts something together and says

"take my picture Pamma and send it in".

He wants to be JUST like his big brother.  

Ok.  So we start at 8 a.m. and never stop.  Until lunch.  Then I AM exhausted.

So THEY need to take a nap.( I mean I  need to take a nap).  But they won't.  I say "you don't have to sleep.  Just rest."  That lasts about 15 minutes.  Then we go nonstop until we take them home.

We pull up in front of their house, I turn around and say

"Ok boys.  We're home!"

and this is what I see...

I have them two days a week.  The other five I am recuperating.  Seriously.

But I wouldn't have it any other way...

And although I said I will always end with Andrew and Max, I found a picture

of me and Melissa.  It's at OU.  Mom's Weekend.  Which when SHE was there was always the first weekend in May.  Such good memories.  I miss her so much.  Still can't believe she's gone...

Love you and miss you pretty girl....

every minute of every day.