B Positive: Perspective

per-spec-tive
noun
a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

It's amazing how your perspective changes in light of a tragedy. I know SO well.
You look at things differently when you are dealt a hand you never dreamed you'd get.
My perspective changed when we lost Melissa. "Don't sweat the small stuff." And you find out it's ALL small stuff (comparatively).

So this week has been emotional, starting with late on Memorial Day. I was struggling through the weekend. ANOTHER holiday without Melissa. EVERY holiday is hard because holidays are when we would see her. (she would have a busy life, I'm sure - she wanted 3 kids that would keep her busy!). But we would see her on the holiday. So I was feeling sorry for myself. Went to bed early and Donny yelled up that there was a tornado warning. It was about 10:30 p.m. I got up and started watching the weather reports. This time was unlike other times there have been warnings. The forecaster got emotional. The anchor (Cheryl McHenry) took over until she composed herself. She KNEW this was a bad one.

Radar of the tornado(s).

I watched until about 1 a.m. They knew it was going to be devastating, but it was late and while they had reports and some footage of the damage, we wouldn't know until morning how bad it actually was. Donny and I took videos out the windows looking north. I don't know WHY we didn't take cover. We should have. (Tornados can turn on a dime.) It was eerily calm in Kettering. You could see the ominous clouds when the lightning lit up the sky, and you could hear the wind. But there was NO wind where we were.

The footage on the news all day the next day proved what they had said. The damage was catastrophic. Oddly, from north of Dayton (Celina, OH) to Brookville, Trotwood, Englewood, Vandalia, Old North Dayton, Riverside, Beavercreek. Several communities were affected. It seemed impossible that ONE tornado could travel that far. It didn't. Turns out there were 19 tornados in Ohio that night - 13 in the Dayton area. The biggest was an EF4 (the strongest hurricane is EF5).

You can imagine the devastation.

I watched all day Tuesday. You get this overwhelming urge to do SOMETHING. But where do you even begin? I tried to get in touch with people that I knew were in affected areas. I did know a few people who were in the path. One was Dad's nurses aide from Traditions. She just found out that her apartment is uninhabitable. Her car was destroyed. Other friends had tree damage.

One of my friends from grade school and high school lives near Trotwood (off 75 near Benchwood, which was hit pretty hard. I'll share more of her story in a minute.

So Tuesday was pretty much just taking it all in. Videos on the news, pictures in the paper.

Wednesday I went to Dad's house (where my nephew is living) to start going through 50 years worth of Mom & Dad's stuff. LOTS of stuff. (Matthew moved into Mom and Dad's house 3 days before his mom passed away. It was completely furnished. Then he brought all his stuff in. Then he had to have a place for all of his MOM'S stuff. The house is overflowing.

Emotional. I am very sentimental, so more interested in those kinds of things. Photos (we haven't even looked at the 7-8 shoebox size tubs of photos), framed photos (probably 50-60). I found a folder that was filled with typed papers - a paper was stapled on the inside cover of the folder. It was mom's draft of a book of her life - Ten or eleven chapters. Starting with Chapter 1-The Davies.

Chapter 2-The Kennedys. Chapter 3-Clementine St.

She actually completed about 5 chapters. Through meeting my Dad. I learned more about my mom reading those five chapters than I ever knew. She never talked about her life growing up.

Boxes and Boxes and bags full of stuff.

My mom's philosophy was always "When in doubt, throw it out." She also always said "Don't do as I do, do as I say". She never threw anything out. I think we found a receipt for everything they ever bought (in 60+ years). We've thrown a lot out. I brought 2 boxes home (so far). A lot is going to Corner Cupboard Charities (as soon as we go through everything.

Some of the "stuff" I found...

these were coupons in the pack of Raleigh cigarettes. You saved them and cashed them in for MORE stuff you could find in their catalogs.

8 track tapes. We used to play these in the car. Took up half the car.

(we got rid of these. I don't think there are 8 track players any more!)

Mom, Dad and my brother Steve on his First Communion Day.

Dad and all his neighborhood buddies.

A holiday at Mom and Dad's.

A picture I never saw of Donny and Melissa.

Mom and Dad's grandkids.

1930-Dad was born

1932-Mom was born

38-Nick's number in football

I think I'll take those.

I've never seen so much in one house. I told Donny that. SO MUCH stuff. Why?????

So I'm literally complaining about all the stuff.

So this morning, another emotional day. Today is Donny's birthday. And Dad's. First time in 45 years Donny and Dad haven't celebrated their birthday together. (there were a few years they weren't home, but for the most part, we celebrated together every year.) We started the day at Golden Nugget for breakfast. It's close to the cemetery so we could visit dad. Stopped and got some flowers and headed over.

Happy Birthday Donny & Dad. Could not forsee the day I would be taking their picture together like THIS.

We left the cemetery and decided to tour the tornado affected areas. The videos and still photos don't give you a true depiction of the devastation. It DID inspire me to do SOMETHING. We got on 75N and drove toward North Dayton/Vandalia area. Got off the highway at Benchwood Road (where it crossed the highway). There was a Lumberyard that was completely destroyed, trees snapped, metal wrapping poles, wrapping branches high in trees, trees uprooted. Huge, old trees uprooted. This was ONE of the tornados damage.

We got right back on the highway and headed south, about 2-3 mile, got off on Wagner Ford Rd. A gas station completely demolished. An old hotel (where my class reunion was held a few times) destroyed. In the parking lot of the hotel, several tents set up, lots of cases of water and people cooking on grills. A school was about a block north of that, damage to the roof and trees down. About a mile from there, we drove past a cemetery. Flowers decorated the graves and gravestones, untouched.

We came to Needmore Rd and turned right (east) to Troy St., where we turned right. There were a few branches down and uprooted trees. That was the first couple of miles. Then complete utter devastation. Power lines down (but off the street-streets were open), trees on power lines. Houses with no roofs, no windows. NOTHING inside. Doll houses.

From there, we got on Route 4, going North. Immediately on the left, Dayton Children's Hospital. Untouched. A huge crane sitting by a building that is under construction. Untouched.

About a half a mile later on the right (where the tornado crossed the highway) Action Sports Complex, destroyed. (there was a huge indoor soccer complex - held two soccer fields). Destroyed.

From there we got off the highway at Woodman Drive, went south toward Riverside, past the Air Force Museum. Mostly untouched (heard there was some damage, but we couldn't see it from the road, and it was open. There were lots of cars in the parking lot.)

Somehow, it missed Children's Hospital and The Air Force Museum.

We then went east on Airway Road, through Page Manor (formerly Base housing). Damage there, mostly trees and branches down. Some roof damage.

We went a couple of miles, past Wright Patterson Air Force Base turned right on Grange Hall, then left on Pentagon (which turns into New Germany Trebein) past several businesses, and Soin Medical Center (where Dad when for his dislocated finger). All untouched.

Then right on N. Fairfield Rd, past the Fairfield Mall. The road was closed a couple of days ago in front of the Target. It's open now. But you can see there where the tornado crossed - devastated several businesses - Abuelo's, Chick Filet, Mike's Carwash and a small shopping center with 3 or 4 businesses.

Then right on Kemp road, past EG Shaw Elementary, where I went to K-1st grade, where tents were set up with water and food and lots of volunteers. Past multiple houses with uprooted trees, windows out and roof damage.

Finally headed home. With a new perspective.

How in the world can I complain that I have TOO MUCH, when there are people who lost everything? Who still don't have power.

My friend Terre lives near Benchwood, close to where one tornado first touched down. She lives in a double and is a full-time caregiver to her 93 year old mom.

When it was on the news that night, she knew she had to get her mom to a safe place (their place is one story - brick ranch double.) One bedroom has no windows, so her mom was on the floor there, where Terre covered her with pillows, blankets and couch cushions. She went back out to their living room, and minutes after she did, a 6 inch diameter tree branch came crashing through her bay window, landing inches in front of her. Glass exploded. She was unhurt, thankfully.

Terre does reiki. Not sure if you are familiar with reiki, but reiki is a" healing technique based on the principle that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch, to activate the natural healing process".

Terre went outside and did reiki on her plants in the garden, on her apartment, and on her car in her driveway. As the storm is passing over. She said she saw it going over, and knew if it dropped it would not be good.

The plants in the window where the tree crashed through were untouched. They never moved. Still sitting there.

Her car in the driveway was untouched - her neighbors car in the driveway (it's a double driveway) right next to hers had the windows blown out. They couldn't understand how Terre's was untouched!

Terre's place. Front window where tree went through!

A tub of food, case of water and Gatorade brought to each person in her neighborhoods house, compliments of Convoy of Hope.

Terre's backyard backs up to Dayton Memorial Park Cemetery on N Dixie Dr. Normally, you can see the headstones on the other side of the fence. Now all you can see are felled trees. Headstones are covered.

Trees uprooted, landed on wires. The plants, garden that Terre did reiki on, untouched. That's a glass top table that was untouched.

Trees split in back yard.

Plants sitting on her garden, untouched - while trees were uprooted right next to them!

Tree in her back yard.

The only pictures I took were at Terre's. I felt like a gawker when we toured the devastation. I asked Terre if it was ok to tell her story. I think she's still in shock. And her house is STANDING.

I did not go empty handed. After seeing the devastation in the morning, I knew that we had to do SOMETHING. We can't help everyone, but we can help SOMEONE!

We started by dropping off toilet paper to Fairmont (the Principal, Tyler Alexander posted on Twitter that they were collecting TP to be distributed. Then to Terre's. Hopefully she can restock her refrigerator when her power comes back on.

Tyler Alexander's (Principal at Fairmont) office got TP'd!!!

So how in the HELL can I complain about having too much?????

Perspective. It sure changed today.

I stopped by Dad's house to see if they were doing anything today - Matthew had it covered for today.

On my way home, the sky opened up. It was pretty ominous. I didn't go through what thousands of people in this community went through, and this scared ME!

On a B POSITIVE note....I got a couple signs from my Dad today - his birthday.

On the way to the cemetery, there was a car in front of us with a NAVY bumper sticker (dad was in the Navy.) I was pretty sure he was letting me know he knew I remembered.

Then on the way to Terre's, while my head was on a SWIVEL looking at all the devastation,

I suddenly realized the song playing on the radio was "In the Navy" by the Village People!!!!

I am POSITIVE my signs from Dad will be something about the Navy.

Thanks Dad!!!! I love you, I miss you and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

***

We did celebrate Donny's birthday today. Mostly family. It was kind of a "Retirement Birthday" since he turned 65. I feel guilty that I never had a retirement party for him. I was too busy taking care of Dad. So we christened the deck with a small gathering for his birthday. As the summer goes on (if it ever stops raining) we'll hopefully do more entertaining.