One Year Later

First of all, if you are reading this blog for the first time (if youfound the blog in the Tom Archdeacon article) you really want to read the first part of the blog.  She took that one down when she was looking for a job.  Then restarted under this blog address.  The first part is www.fortscancersux1.blogspot.com. She still makes me laugh.  

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With the last eleven months of covid, they talked about this the winter of 2020/2021 being the darkest winter in our history.  I assumed it was because the number of cases and deaths were rising.

We had NO idea what the winter would bring.  Since last March, we have not been inside a restaurant. As late as November, because the weather was still nice, we were going to dinner on patios.  Once it was too cold, we ordered carryout at least once a week.  Wanted to support local businesses as much as we could.  We were very careful, always wearing masks inside.  Not when we walked, which was pretty much every day.  Even as cold as 20.  Kind of got used to the cold weather (and I am NOT a cold weather person).

We subscribed to sports channels so we could still watch the basketball teams that we follow.

Also subscribed to Disney+ and Netflix.  The winter wasn't going to be  that bad after all.  Or so we thought.

On November 10, we lost my mother in law, Rosella (or Roz as most people called her) to covid. Made us even more careful.  In February, our good friend Greg Nelson passed away (not to covid, but other health issues).  Then on February 15, our brother in law Ron passed away unexpectedly.  They had just stopped by a couple of days before.  Shocked.  Saddened.  Devastated.  There were no indications that anything was wrong, health wise.  Ron was a good husband to Donny's youngest sister, Jan.  Every time the family got together, Ron and I talked.  We were the "outlaws".  Always laughed about that.  We had a lot in common with Jan and Ron.  They went to our kids games, we went to their kids games (mostly football) and they went to our grandkids games.  When Ryan started working for Alabama, we had the opportunity to go to the Alabama/LSU football game.  What an awesome experience!  Donny's brother Mike went too, and we got to see Chris, who ended up getting to go too.  We had such a good time.  And plans to go to more games, and maybe even some other travels too.  It's not always easy to find people you can travel with.  We are missing Ron already.

Jan & Ron at Brandon's (nephew) & Maddie's wedding.

Ron, on the far left.  The whole family at the FORT 5K.

Fortener family Christmas at VFW.

Chris's game in Durham NC.

Another FORT 5K.  I like this picture because Ron (back row, by "R" in Firebirds) and Bobby (Judy's husband who passed a year ago) are both in this picture.

My favorite picture of my favorite brother in law.  The "outlaws".  Took Roz out for her birthday.

Roz's birthday dinner.

Donny and Ron.  They had a lot in common too.

Roz and her "boys"

Ron worked Security at the Dayton Dragon games and UD Basketball (men and women's games)

Since the boys are both out of town, we invited Jan & Ron over for Christmas.  

Ryan, taking us on a tour of Alabama football facility.

Touring Tuscaloosa before AL/LSU game.

Chris, Ron, Jan, Ryan

Got to meet Ryan's girlfriend, Macey.  She's a keeper.

Christmas when the kids were little (at our house).

Christmas family photo at our house.  Must have been early 90s.

Jan, Donny, Ron at Donny's induction into Carroll HofF.

Life at family gatherings won't be the same without you, Ron.  We love you!

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Three days after Ron passed away, we got the message that Donny's Wilmington College Football coach, Bill Ramseyer, passed away.  So much sadness.

This summer there will be multiple "Celebrations of Life".  Will be difficult to find a venue for anything else.  We already have the church secured for Rosella's.  

So here we are.  Closing in on one year later.  WE made it through the winter.  But not everyone did.

Vaccinations are ramping up, case numbers and deaths are going down.  All good news.  

I learned a lot in the last year, just like I learned a lot in the last TWELVE years.  It wasn't all bad. I learned that you can survive a pandemic if you are patient.  If you listen to science.  If you keep busy.  Keep healthy.  We walked pretty much EVERY day this winter (except when it was icy).  We saved money.  Life slowed down.  We got a few things done around the house.  Not as much as we COULD have, but still working on that.  

Early in February, I received a text from Cassie Sant, telling me about the UD Womens PINK GAME. The media in the athletic department was looking for a story for the pink game.  Cassie told them about Melissa, about my visits to the team to talk about breast cancer and Melissa, and they wanted to do a story.  They actually did a beautiful video about Melissa (they shared at halftime of the game), we did a Zoom call with Coach Shauna Green and she invited us to the game.  It was SO good to get out and actually see a game in person!  And the biggest surprise was Tom Archdeacon was going to do an article.  If you read the sports pages in the Dayton Daily News, you KNOW Tom Archdeacon.  He writes the human interest stories, and in my humble opinion, the best writer at the DDN.  As my friend Marianne said "You know you've reached the top if Tom Archdeacon writes an article about you!"  We are humbled and Melissa would be too.  To top it off, the game was on ESPN and they talked about Melissa ON ESPN in the fourth quarter.  Her best friend Angie posted on FB, "12 years after her death, Melissa makes it to ESPN.  There is some celebrating going on in heaven!!!"  

Maddy Westbeld is playing for ND, and I send her a message before and after each game.  Their Pink Game was yesterday, and she responded "today's game is for Melissa".  She had a great game! Double Double.  Can't wait to see all of these games (UD AND ND) in person next year!  And Madison @ Belmont in Nashville too.  Looking forward to so many things.  

Another lesson.  Never take anything for granted.  (Thanks for the reminder, Ryan).

Spring is just around the corner, and Andrew and Max's Lacrosse seasons are starting back up.  We can finally put something on our calendars.  The weather is getting warmer and the sun is shining more!  We might even get some traveling in this year.  Hoping for some concerts at the Fraze, but haven't heard anything yet.  And the NCAA March Madness WILL go on this year.  It was halted last year because of covid.  Along with graduations, concerts, SCHOOL.  But we made it.  I hope people look back and see the good things that happened in the last year.  If you lost a loved one, like we did, we still need to work through the grieving process.  That didn't happen because it wasn't safe to do so in November.  Hard to comfort someone if you can't hug them.  

BUT, we are hugging again (with masks).  Not sure if that is the safe thing to do right now, but it is needed. SO MUCH.  At Ron's funeral, I hugged more people than I've hugged in a WHOLE year.

And five days later, I feel ok.  Still waiting for my vaccine.  Donny's had one shot, gets the second next week.  Ohio is getting  more next week, and hopefully they will go to 60 and over and I can get mine.  

Normalcy.  We all need some normalcy.

As much as I wish Melissa, John, and JP were here, (and I can't believe I'm saying this), they are in a better place right now.  A safer place anyway.

And so are Ron and Roz.

I miss you all.  Every single day.