For Melissa...

On my way to work this morning, I was thinking about Melissa's blog. After reading Melissa for almost 5 years, I'm pretty boring. Depressing really. I apologize for that.
At work today, I was cleaning my desk, and under a stack of papers I found a journal that I started January 5, 1998 (Melissa's 20th birthday). Must have been watching Oprah that day because it started out as a "Gratitude" Journal. Didn't end up that way though. As I started reading it, I found a bunch of stories that I wrote down from things that kids had said at school - funny things. I used to email stories to Melissa and if it was funny enough, she would post it on the blog. These are "pre-blog", so I'm pretty sure she didn't post them...but she WOULD have. So I'm going to add a little humor. I know she would approve. Also, in the back of the journal I found some pictures - a good one of her on her trip to Wyoming. If I remember, I'll scan it tomorrow and post that too. AND I found a card she had sent me when she was at OU. One of those feel good, I love you, thanks for being my friend...just what I needed today. With a bonus - a personal note from her, telling me to have a good day. Seems trivial, maybe. But I am SO glad I kept it. Kind of like she sent it to me all over again...
without further ado...

TRUE School Stories (remember, these REALLY happened - at my school!)

One of our more spirited kindergarteners was walking toward the office. I told her how pretty she looked in her dress. She replied "YEA, well, I'm having trouble with my teacher today, so I'm going to the office." Evidently she brought a pet...a stuffed pig to school, and instead of working at a station, she decided that the pig was teaching her something...to OINK! The principal came in and scolded her. Needless to say, she wasn't happy. Seeing she wasn't happy, a classmate said "you'll have a lot of fun over there, you'll love it...you won't even WHINE."

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Another kindergardner -
Cody - "My name is Billy. I changed it in the morning yesterday.
Me - "Why?"
Cody - "Because I got my hair cut."

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Cody (same one) & Katelyn
Katelyn announced that "she was 6 today" and Cody quickly added "I'm 6 today too!"
I knew it wasn't Cody's birthday and said "Cody...you're not 6 today!"
He looked at me kind of funny and as I walked away, he ran over to me and said "I AM 6 today Mrs. Fort! Don't you remember...I gave you cupcakes yesterday!" (of COURSE...he was 6 yesterday, but he's 6 TODAY too.)

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Amanda (Kindergarten) was working on the alphabet @ the computer and was getting VERY frustrated. She raised her hand, and as I approached, she said "These letters are all in the wrong place! This could confuse some children!"

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Same Amanda, working on the computer (old IBM PC Jrs.) She was POUNDING on the keyboard. I asked her not to do that and she replied "Something is wrong with this computer...I had to wait a WHOLE second!"

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I told a first grader he needed to take care of his library fine and he responded, "I need to get some cents from my mom because I don't have any."

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Kindergartener - Katlyn -
"Mrs Fort, I read books last night!"
"That's great Katlyn. How many?"
Not sure how to answer, she replied "ALL OF THEM!"

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Our Kindergarten teacher was teaching her class about the body and they were talking about bones and how they help us move. She was telling them that if we didn't have bones, we'd be like a rag doll. Suddenly, Brandon raised his hand and said, "I know an animal that doesn't have bones!".... "You DO?" "YES! Boneless chicken!"

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First graders Chris & Victor overheard having this discussion...Chris - "I feel like my brain is gone for some reason. I think something is lodged in my brain.
Victor - "What's 1 + 0?"
Chris - "1"
Victor - "See, your brain isn't gone!"
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Kindergarten teacher teaching about the moon.
She asks, "What makes the moon light up?"
One of her students said "it has a light bulb".

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Second grader Robby says to me "You learn something from us every day! Like how to listen and remember things!"
I said, "You're right - when you're older you DO forget things!"
Robby - "Yeah! We help you to remember what you forgot to remember!"

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First grade
Chris - "Can I get a kleenex?"
Steven - (looking up Chris's nose) - "Yea, you have some snot in there."

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Kindergarteners -
"When I grow up, I'm going to be big. REALLY big."

"I'm allergic to dogs. We're getting a dog. One I'm not allergic to."

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First graders...
Robby - "It's like this side of my brain is hurting - must be 'cause I'm making so many words."
We were working with the word "an" and the kids had to use the word in a
sentence. Tristian - "Sometimes my mom gets a tan and the skin hangs down and we have to pick the skin off her back."

First grade class comes to the library and everyone wants a joke book. I asked "are you guys reading joke books in class?"
Robby - "No - we just like laughing! It's fun!"

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I got my hair cut (traumatic for some kids when the teacher gets a hair cut!).
A kindergartener told me "I was acting weird" after my haircut!

I overheard another conversation in Kindergarten -
Taylor - "My cousin says bad words."
Mrs. F - "Is that OK?"
Taylor - "Yes. Because he's 6."
Jade - "My mom and dad say bad words."
Madison - "That's ok. They're supposed to."
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We were "making words" in literacy lab in Kindergarten. The word "lard" came up. I told the group I was working with that lard is animal fat and people used to cook with lard. They did not like that at all. I said "have you eaten fried chicken?"
(trying to make the animal fat connection) and of course they all had. One student said "My mom makes fried chicken....WITH HER OWN HANDS!" (guess it wasn't KFC!)
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and my all time favorite...
our first grade teacher started out the day with her students by telling a story...
"On my way to work today..." and one of her students said "YOU have a JOB????"

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I know there is more, but I have to work too. Writing down the funny things the kids say is one of the best parts of my job. Melissa LOVED it too. Hope you enjoyed some of them - had to lighten things up a little.