A Tribute to My Dad

There was a celebration in heaven on Monday...Dad joined my Mom, Steve, Sue, Melissa, John, JP, his Mom and Dad and all his lifelong friends who passed before him.  What a celebration it was I KNOW.

His services were last night and today at Holy Trinity Church (where his Mom and Dad were married, Mom and Melissa were buried from Trinity and Nick and Mere were married there.)

 There were Naval Officers and a Naval Bugler at the Cemetery...Dad would have loved it.

This was my Eulogy...my TRIBUTE TO MY DAD:

How do you put into words 88 years of a life well lived?  It’s not easy.

Dad was born May 31, 1930 (Actually, I found a small card that has Dad's footprint on it - when he was born.  There was a handwritten notation on the card that said "This child was born after midnight. So maybe his birthday was June 1, but it was May 31 on his official Birth Certificate!)  to Clarence & Mildred Rotert.  He had three older siblings Ethel, Anna Mae & Benny, all teenagers..and they spoiled him rotten.  They must have told him he was right all the time, because that stayed with him all his life.

He grew up in East Dayton (right around the corner on E. Fourth St.) and made lifelong friends there.  Bob Walters, Jim Walker (who he joined the Navy with in 1949) Jack Nowling and Dick Mayer.  They (and their families)were  family to us.  We went on camping trips with them, they had monthly parties for years.  I wish I could tell some of those stories, but they aren’t stories that were meant for Church!  The kids all stay in touch still

Dad went to Holy Trinity through 8^th grade, then Graduated from Parker Co-op in 1948. He joined the Navy in 1949.  He proudly served on the USS Midway from 1949-1953. 

He met mom when he was stationed in Philadelphia (He went to a dance and had a date with another girl.  Dad asked her to get a date for his buddy…it was Mom.  He was more interested in Mom, and well, the rest is history!)

They married June 6, 1953 – had four children – Donna, Pam (me) Steve and Sue.    (When Mom introduced Dad to her family – her parents and five brothers – they thought his name was Robert (ROTERT) and started calling him BOB.  So in Philly they were Uncle Bob and Aunt Re.  In Dayton they were Uncle Irvin and Aunt Mickey.)

We eventually settled in Beavercreek, where we went to St. Helens.  Dad was an usher there for many years, and served as the Festival Chairman in the late 60s.

Dad taught us the love of the outdoors – we went camping, boating, and Old River every summer (because he worked at NCR)  We camped out in the backyard every summer with neighborhood kids.  He taught us how to fish (which I never liked).    He taught me the love of sports – he played softball for NCR, he loved watching the UD Flyers (especially in the 60s) and Ohio State Football.   He also taught me how to play sports.  I am left handed, but play sports right handed, because that’s how he taught me!  Sports are a big part of my life – my families life to this day. 

I had the chance to tell Dad this last week.  I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to tell him the difference he made in my life.  He said “At least I accomplished something!” 

We had a great childhood.  We had a dog, Dixie, that Dad took hunting. He was an outdoor dog. Dad built him a doghouse, and made sure that it had plenty of straw in the winter – sometimes even blankets.  But when it got really cold, Dad would let Dixie inside.  But she had to stay in the kitchen.  I remember one night at dinner, we had peas and carrots.  I DID NOT like peas and carrots.  Dad told me I had to take one bite, and that I would sit there until I did.  I told him “Fine. I’ll sit here all night, I’m not eating them.” When Dad left the room, I held my plate down for Dixie.  Dixie LOVED peas!!!   Dad taught me PERSERVERANCE.   Everybody won.

When we went camping, we would unload the boat when we got there. Dad would get in the boat and hand things out to us.  The first thing he handed us was a lawn chair for mom.  She would sit down with a beer and a cigarette while we set up camp.  I never understood why we had to do all the work and mom got to sit down…until I was a mom.  Then I realized that Mom did all the work BEFORE we left – laundry, packing, grocery shopping for the trip.  I don’t think mom liked camping in the beginning, and Dad must have promised her that “HE would do everything”.  He was pretty smart.  He taught me a GOOD WORK ETHIC.

We took our first trip to Florida the summer of ’74.  Usually on long trips Dad & Mom shared the driving.  But this time Dad let me do part of the driving. I had the leg through Tennessee and the mountains.  It was my first experience of driving on the highway (if you know that part of 75, it’s a pretty scary drive!)  Mom kept saying, “She’s driven enough” and Dad said “She’s fine”.  He trusted me.  To this day, I drive that leg of the trip whenever we drive south!

Mom was the investor.  Dad was the spender .  He LOVED to spend money.  He got what he wanted – a boat, a camper, a 5^th wheel, a Carry out-the Beer Center. Yep.  They bought a carry-out (I think it had to do with the fact that Dad loved beer, so he thought he’d be good at selling it).  It was another of his “Hair brained Schemes” as Grandma (his mom) put it.

Dad was the life of the party.  He was a people person.  Everybody loved him….and he told me that on many occasions. 

He worked for Raj Soin at Modern Technologies.  Dad said “He loved me, because he loved politics and he thought I looked like Donald Rumsfeld”

Which he did.

When they moved to Florida and he joined the VFW, he became a regular.  Like Norm.  In Cheers.  Everybody knew Dad’s name “IRV” everyone would say when he walked into the bar.  I talked to them the other day.  She said “We loved Irv!”  He was right!

He was ALWAYS right.  Well sometimes.  Once when he called me, must have been February, he said “We have one less day this year.” (because it was leap year)  I said “No, Dad.  We have one MORE day. It’s leap year.”  He argued with me for a minute, and finally I asked him where he was.  The VFW of course.  I said “is there anyone sitting next to you?  Ask them.”  When he came back he said “You’re right”.  He didn’t admit that very often.

Got to the point the last couple of years that I learned to pick my battles.  He could be right all the time.  It made him happy.

Dad had a great life. He travelled, he had lots of friends.  Singing made him the happiest.  He loved to sing Karake.  And he was good at it.  He started his singing career right here at Trinity in the choir.  I believe he sang Ave Maria in one of his sister’s weddings. 

He and mom eventually bought a place in Melbourne Florida.  He loved Florida.

There was tragedy in Dad’s life as well.  He lost two children. Steve (his only son)  in 1975 and Sue in 2013.  And a granddaughter, our daughter, Melissa.  And a great grandson.  After Sue died, he decided to stay in Florida permanently.   He taught me to HAVE HOPE. (that you can survive the loss of not ONE child, but two.)

He lived in assisted living for two years in Florida in a beautiful place on the Indian River.  But he finally decided to move home to be closer to his family. 

He had to adjust to another home.-Traditions of Beavercreek- And he did – they had Happy Hour every day, which he didn’t miss very often.  He taught everyone to play rummy – HIS version, HIS rules.  They all adapted.  Although the woman who was playing with us made the comment one time “This isn’t how we play rummy in Wisconsin”.   Dad never wore his hearing aides (Which might have been because she and I talked the entire time we played and it drove Dad crazy)  so he never heard her comments. One time, he slapped his hand on the table and kind of yelled and said “YOUR TURN”.  She looked at me and said “Did you have to put up with this all your life???”

He loved when his whole family was around him…we had a family Christmas party at Traditions last year on December 3…he loved having everyone together.  He loved visits from his Grandchildren, great grandchildren (David, Neveah, Jessie, Andrew & Maxwell Irvin) –  and his Friday visits from Nick.  He loved that Matthew was living in his house and taking care of it.  He loved when Jessica and Becky came to visit.   Donna was with him every morning, I was with him every night.  He looked forward to those every day visits!

Dad and Melissa were very close.  One night, they were both at our house (and John too).  Melissa wanted to go to Taggarts (a bar) and wanted us to go.  It was 9:00 and too late for us…but NOT Dad!  He went with them and their friends.  I have a video she took.  Some day I’ll post that.  He had a great time with her. 

Family was important to Dad – he was very close to his nieces and nephews-close in age too-he was more like a cousin than an uncle and enjoyed doing things with them too.

A couple of months ago he stopped going to Happy Hour.  And the dining room.  He was running out of gas.

The activities director told me they missed Dad playing cards – but they were still playing by IRV’s RULES.

After he passed, about 10 of his caregivers came to say Goodbye.

There were a lot of tears.  He was right.  THEY ALL LOVED HIM.  And he loved them.  If you got a kiss on your hand you KNEW- I think most of them did!  He taught me to TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.

Irvin J, Irv, Bob…he did it all. 

Coach, fisherman, outdoorsman, athlete

Singer. Jack of all Trades… And willing to share his birthday with his son-in-law for 45 years…

But most of all, a great husband, DAD, Grandpa, Great Grandpa, Uncle and Friend. 

I didn’t realize until I sat down and started reminiscing what an impact my Dad made on my life.  I am like him in so many ways.

I miss you already Dad.

I love you.