Saturday, December 13, 2008

OMG!!! She's blogging!!! Alive!!! In a HOSPICE!!! I am all pissed off that Ive been attempting to tackle this blog post for THREE gard-dang days and what I have I acomplished? Nothing.

When I was in college, I could get a TON done stuff by just putting something off - Jami and Stacy know just how much could be acomplished when exam week was on the horizon. Fort was a cleaning spree!! Things were incredible.

Apparently this most recent blog posting as evoloved into a college exam of the past.

This is without a doubt because Ive waited so long. I cant even remember how to post correctly. Four pictures or so shifted to the left? Pictures out of order? Columns CENTERED?.......CENTERED??

I suppose the concept of being put into a Hospice is enough to put a shock into your system for awhile. Remember when I would sputter out there every now and again about my "Preminition I was having" about having one last more"Big one" before my fight with cancer was over? I really was having those preminitions. And I dont know if ever uttered that deepest and most sacred word outloud, but "Hospice" was always floating around back there. Im not sure why it was.

During the last five months while I was enduring these last five months of Ixempra, my mom would cheerfully nod and say, "I think this is the "Big One" you were talking about. This is the last one you have to get over. But I would always respond the same. "No Mom, sorry." In a way I was trying to show her to show a little respect to the disease. Cancer isnt going to make me go through all of that THAT for THIS. I sadly knew there was at least one more visit we were going ot have to make on this journey, and it wasnt a place most people think they're going to make it out alive without proper flowers or some respectable casserole dish.

So lets run back to Kettering Hospital where where I was struggling to keep up with the heart scans & oxygen tests....DO'H!!!! you cancersuxfans are WAAAAAY to kind! (Robin, you tipped me off today didnt you?)

Seems as thought I throughoughly updated the blog up through Friday, Dec 5th, BUT manually (incorrectly typed it in as the 12th) if you have flipping back and through your calendars trying to figure out where a disappearing week went, thats where it went!!

Ok, so in looking back, it looks as though Ive actually updated you a little better than I had thought. Theres mom, John and I posing with the First of my left two thorocentisis's done last week and the contraption that held my chest tube as well. This was the calm before the storm.

I too, had to to admit that that I thought the "Your're going to Hospice" event was going to be more dramatic, but as it turns out, Romer visited me twice over the weekend and I was so yapped up on meds I didnt have much of an idea what what really going on anyway. And like I mentioned before, the "Big H" wasnt some something I was exactly on the precipice holding onto from Romer's tight, sweaty fingers. Sorry. No biggie there. Romer came, and he saw that Hospice was good, He said you dont have to stay, and I lightly beat my chest with a tap and "Peaced" him out.

Im sad to report to you all that as of today, they will be cutting back CONSIDERABLY on my meds. Specifically my pain meds that come via IV. What this basically means that that If I want a pain med, I cant get it through the IV, which, as it turns out, is way more fun.

When the nurse came to see if I needed any pain meds tonight, I shot back, "What cha got?".

She looked at me a little awkward. "You know, just wanted to see what was on the menu."

She laughed and walked out. In passing Ive been hearing of some LOVELY discussions Ive heald with some under the influence of Dilaudid to name two. According to mom it was mostly just a lot of me saying things and following it up with saying, "Im sto stupid, I dont know why I said that.

So for now, Im just patting myself on the back for the little accomplishments I can make here and there here in the privacy of my own little room.

Ok, its just one big accomplishment. And thats getting up out of bed by myself (Im not supposed it) and taking myself to the restroom (not supposed to be doing that either.

So thats All Im doing right now...

Nurse Jane from KMC~ Who wants a wiseacre nurse giving bunny ears before such an important procedure?? I DO!!!!

Erin & Laurie - my DIVA-LICIOUS N.A's, who took care of all my whining and complaining before we left KMC
Caught Pauly for a Mug before he and Elizibeth took J-Mac off to Tanks for dinner on Friday night. Goood times!
Merry Christmas! We'll probably need to take this one over, all my shots were a little dark and think we do have overall room for improvement.

Again...this is just another thanks to all the blog supporters who have been posting such great comments and sending all the prayers and positive thoughts. Im reading them all and Im sorry I dont get a chance to respond to you each individually!!

MySpace Comments
Special thanks to Miller who came all the way out from Denver to visit my sorry ass. (photo below)You're the best. (and Pam did have the letter so no worries) I may post that this week if you dont mind. Also - check it out - the oldies keep rolling in!!! Missy Shumate guest stars in Kettering this afternoon at Hospice. Ladies, she's making those burbling noises again like she was going for a our five year (That she was a year late for)...lets hold her too it this time!

And last but not leastly, here's a scrumcious view of John (or Pam depending on the day) at my Home Sweet Hospice. Just wanted to pass it along.

John below~

MySpace Comments


Karyn said...

So I have been checking back all day, so excited to hear an update..( maybe a little stalkerish :))

I am so glad to see you are doing alright, and like I have said before, I can hear your positive attitude and your voice in your posts and it always makes me smile!

Love you girl!!!

a said...

Thanks for the update. I, like Karyn, have been checking back all day! :) I love that picture of you and your mom. Do you realize how much you look alike?

angelsamoungus said...

I also want to thank you for the update. I check your blog everyday as I have been for the last couple of years. I love your positive attitude and you are an inspiration to all of us.

My love to you, your mom and all the rest of your family.


Jami said...

Thank you for the update Fort!! Love you so much and I will see you soon! Love, Jami

KJ said...

You have such an absolutely hilarious way of recapping events. Great pics :)

Still praying for healing, strength, and peace.

Misti said...

Thanks for the update! You know that I am most happy when I am inappropriately stalking you and checking your blog 10 times in 2 hours last night really gave me the fix I needed.

I am so glad that you have perked up and sorry that they are cutting back your pain meds. You are always in the Schenkes thoughts, even Alex checks your blog with me. I hope I am not training him to stalk, but we will cross that bridge later.

We love you and can't wait to see you home and healthy!

Anonymous said...

Glad to read your update and to see that your determination to kick this cancer's ass and get on with life holds strong. I love you so much and am so glad that we continue to view so much of life with the same cynical and amused eye! Keep on keepin on and remember to REST...that will make the fun visitors more fun & the less than fun visitors more tolerable. with love from your favorite yaya st

Amy said...

It is so good to get an update you've been on my mind so much and in our prayers daily. You inspire everyone to keep a positive outlook no matter what happens in life. My love goes out to you and your family. I know I don't have to tell you to keep your spirits up because you're FORT and it is in your nature to do so.
~Amy (Kovach) Gribbell

Jami said...

I forgot something...I remember the "Fort cleaning spree" mode at Montrose. I will never forget walking down the steps and thinking I was back at home in my mom's living room. I remember the dried flower arrangement you hung above the fireplace and the candles burning and finally making that place smell good. Won't forget you sitting down after a long cleaning spree with a bowl of popcorn. Then I remember seeing the empty bowl of popcorn the next morning still in the living room! LOL!! I'd think Fort??!!!! Did any of us ever clean that dinky downstairs bathroom? Gross!! HA!! Great memory Fort and you know just like the rest of them I've been stalking this blog big time:) Love ya, Jami

Anonymous said...

Ok -I quit stalking too early last night. You did stay up late. What great pictures - true you and Pam are identical. Keep up the attitude and keep on doing your own thing. Prayers, Peace, Love still coming your way from the west. Hugs too, Sue

SurlyTammy said...

Fort, thanks for the blog update. Do you realize how much you make our day?

Did you get the text from Philly about this Wed? If you could think of us Wed and send good vibes are way we would be grateful.

Philly and I are sending you sooo much positivity it's like I don't know myself anymore. It's like my heart grew 2 sizes more.. :D

SurlyTammy and Philly

Anonymous said...

wwooohhooo love the post. Glad I'm not the only one feeling "stalkerish". The fam pic at the tree is beautiful! That for some reason was something I kept thinking ..."I hope they have a Christmas tree at hospice" Why that stuck in my head no clue just want you all to have a tree there. I think of you all often and I guess because of the time of year the one word that keeps coming up is BELIEVE!!! BELIEVE!!

Margie your cuz of cuz

ErinKlenk said...

Hi Fort!

Thanks for the dad has been asking me everyday if you have updated yet so now he will let me be for at least a few days...hehe...glad you are being have a great family! Tell them the Klenks say hello!


Jill said...

A big, sparkly THANK YOU to you!!

Thanks for the update post-you have alot of us stalkers out there pulling for you. I lit a cinnamon candle this morning and thought of you having one burning in your office-such a rebel :-) Get some rest!

Anonymous said...


Thanks for the update -- we've been waiting!! The pictures are great, especially of you and your mom. You're a trooper -- thanks so much for keeping us all up to date. Sending good thoughts and hugs your way -- our love to you and your family.

Andy and Sara Santoli

Stedron said...

Glad to see an update today. Keep it up kid. DO IT FOR MRS. SWABB!


Netti said...

Yea Fort! Glad you are keeping that sense of humor! My coworkers and family keep asking for updates. Everyone in my office is praying for you. Keep up that positive attitude! And I now have my mom checking your blog!!!

Anonymous said...

Fort, travels back were a bit rough, landed 2.5 hours late... Oh well, welcome to snow storms and winter in the rockies!! It was good to see you... The letter is yours to do as you want, so by all means, post it! Oh and PS, that did turn out to be a pretty good pick of us... :-) Love ya, stay up and B-positive...


Anonymous said...


Glad to hear the update. Chris shared some news last week so I had the whole school praying for you - still do. Hang in there - ...Love the bunny ears!


Anonymous said...

Hey Fort I am so glad to see you posting! I love your strength and courage I can't even write a whole paragraph! Keep positive and we will kepp praying!


Anonymous said...

Hey Fort, it's Blakes. Keep thinking about you and praying for you everyday! I really enjoying reading what you post. Keep it up and stay strong.

Love ya,

Casey James said...

You look great, Fort! Thanks for the pictures and the update! It's so good to hear from you... you rock!

Anonymous said...

Hey Fort~

Thanks so much for the update...I'm just glad to hear that i am not the only one who has been stalking you lately:) I was beginning to worry about my habits. Anyway, tons of positive thoughts and love to ya!


Anonymous said...

Hi again, Melissa,
It was great to talk with you today, to see you smile and reminisce about FHS days. Enjoyed your wig thing too - you look great in that blonde one with the darling hat. Left you with all those guys around your bed - way to go, girl! Your spirit is inspiring for us all.
Love, Mari Lou

Anonymous said...

Where do you get all your energy? You may not feel it, but I see it in all your blogs. I am jealous I don't have that drive! If there is any chance of fighting this, you got it girl! Everytime I read a new posting, I am in awe of your fun & goofy attitude. You are truly amazing!!! My prayers are with you.
Bonnie G

Anonymous said...

Man, I'm so excited to see all the comments by women talking about stalking, and no one saying, "Mr. Rettig, here is your restraining order."

Thanks for the update Fort! The pics are great. Stay strong!!!


Jeannette Todd said...

hey there Fort, I'm glad to see you're feeling a little better. I'm praying for you to keep improving. you're spirit is amazing!

Patrick Reilly said...

God love ya, kid, I know I do. Glad to finally get the update--I was hoping to see some more static footage of the thorocentises', no, I wasn't.

Much, much love headed your way, beautiful. Take care and I'll give you a call soon.


Mindy Shultz said...

Hey Fort! I too have become a stalker of your blog…sitting anxiously on the edge of my seat, as I wait to see if your update is posted! Just thinking about you brings a smile to my heart!

Anonymous said...

Hey Melissa, (I think I am the only one who still calls you that) Love the picture of all of you in front of the Christmas tree. Beautiful.
You are such an inspiration you have such a positive out look on this cancer fight. I am so proud of you and we are all praying and fighting this with you mentally.
Pam your the best. Hang in there she is a fighter.
Love ya guys

Susie Q said...

Melissa, you are the most amazing woman. You and your Mom are so strong, so inspiring1

Your posts have never failed to make me smile. This ability is one of your many are a treasure!

My love to you, your Mom and all of your family.

Sue Combs and family

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. We are always thinking of you and sending our prayers your way. Your strength and attitude are truly inspiring. I love the family photo in front of the tree and the photo of you and your mom!!!

All of our love,
Emily, Rob and Evan Perry

Anonymous said...


Thanks for the update! I am now part of the stalking crew. I am making myself check it all the time; even if Big Brother is watching and will yell at me to get back to work!

Love ya,

Kelly E

Anonymous said...

you are such a strong woman surrounded by so many people who love you! i think of you often. frankly... your posts crack me up. you're amazing. fight like hell and stay happy!

aimy (brown) young

Jessie said...

Your love of family and friends and ability to be present in the moment are all such touching qualities, which are helping me to see my life with greater clarity. Thank you for giving that gift to me.

Chris Riestenberg said...


Just wanted to say hey and let you know that you are in my thoughts. Good to see an update and that you are doing better.

The GladGirl said...

Hey Melissa. I'm a new follower of your blog.
I work at Hospice of Dayton. I heard you are a blogger and some of my friends there know that
I'm an obsessive blogger too so I looked you up.
Cool blog- love the name too!
Excited to see you are a Sedaris fan also!
I've met him 3 times and the bag I carry has his autograph on it. I have all his books and cd's!
If you would like for me to bring any Sedaris cd's for you to listen to there let me know. I don't always work in the building you are in but it's easy to swing by that way from the other building.
(I'm always snooping around in Colp for chocolate anyway.)

If it's awkward for you that I work there and post on your blog, I totally understand and respect that so just let me know. I won't take it too hard. I won't like, throw shoes at people or anything outrageous. haaha!

Peace to you girl and keep on bloggin!

ps- I have a Myspace and Facebook AND I'm older than you so let the humilation begin. haahaa.
: ( crylaughcry

KJ said...

I see you didn't stay awake long enough to finish your post :)